Young Architects Forum

Amen!
I'm a single mom / intern archtect of 9 years. I went back to college and finished my last year after I was divorced. Balancing two children in daycare starting out was tough! Now I find I'm held back because I'm unable to work the late and long hours on a regular basis. My pay also reflects this.
I often say I need a "stay at home wife" to do all the things the men in the office have in their mostly stay at home wives- running kids to activities, laundry, sick days, cooking supper, getting them ready for school.
And the possibility of having any kind of dating life?! Forget it!
I imagine when my kids are grown and out of the house, THEN I'll finally be able to give as much time as those without children or with stay at home wives!
Frustrating.

Hi,

It's been 7 years since I graduated and although I work for a very large & reputed architectural firm, I am still very much in the lower ranks. I find myself alone in many aspects - a working mother who is the primary caretaker of her child and an ethnically unique personality in the office space. I could talk at length about how my career has suffered owing to my personal responsibilities on the homefront but in addtion to that I often feel that it is hard for others to identify with my constraints since everybody else in the office is either male with a stay at home wife, or a female who is single/childless. Surprisingly I find that the women in the office give me an equally hard time as the males - almost making me feel like having a child was a wrong decision or that having a child conveys that you are not totally committed to your career. What is one supposed to do? How does one compete with someone who has very little responsibility to look forward to in the evening & can afford to stay until 10:00 pm in the office? My immediate peer gets paid by the hour & unlike me it is in her best interest to prolong things whereas as as salaried employee with two other jobs on the homefront, it is in my best interest to be proactive & efficient. I dont see any incentives in doing that. At the end of the year, the employee who put in the maximum hours gets the larger chunk of the bonus. How do I manage this? Yes, very frustrated - its the end of the year! :)

I remember the silent tears that fell one day after I called my husband to tell him to put our two-year-old to bed because I would be working late--AGAIN. Shame on your companies for poor project management that forces overtime, and for not taking simple measures to offer challenges on a variety of schedules.

I think the problem is that employers (even we progressive architects!) still seem to view children as a woman's responsibility, and not a social responsibility. Perspectives like this seem rare in the ranks of firm principals, but hopefully that is changing due to employees of both sexes drawing strong boundaries with their employers. Workers with families tend to stick around and bring important contributions to design (not just residential!), as if we really need to justify having a family in the first place.

I think being honest about our loyalties from the start is crucial--if they don't like it, then it's the wrong firm to work in. Just as we should never apologize for our fee, we should never apologize for putting our children first. I know, from bitter experience, that enforcing these personal limits can reduce your employment options. But if all fathers and mothers stick to their guns, it is a choice that parents who come after us will never have to make. Eventually firms must accept that landing solid employees means accomodating families, too.

My question, as a 30-year old architect who does not plan to have children, is this: Why do work/life balance discussions seem to focus only on those with children? I don't plan to have children, but I DO have a family and friends that vaguely remember me after constant late nights and early mornings. This profession is socially crippling for all of us. Amen to the above comments, but please remember those of us who are childless.

I am 30+ almost an architect with an exam to go, and have been pursuing this for a few years. I am waiting to say, yes, I am done with the late hours in office and studying after hours. THEN, I will be able to be more reachable to my family and fiance. And we are both scraping by on our measily pay. If people actually knew what I made than what they think an architect makes- they would say- wow that firm is so using you, or are misers. Others say well you have put in so many years there, they have given you your time away for schooling/licensing studying, you almost owe them your time when you become an architect.
I guess I've resorted to begin looking for a new job asap when I recieve the final PASS letter, but will I be treated differently, being a woman in a man's world? Don't get me wrong, I am tough, and know that in order to get respect in the field of architecture/construction one must know all there is to know about it.

Work Balance seems to be one of those topics that strike a cord within all of us. Our local AIA chapter started two years ago, a local women architect group. It is not more than a group of female architects getting together to encourage and guide one another. At most of those meetings we all talk about that delicate balance between family life and career. It helped me realize I am not the only one trying to balance the two while still perusing a rewarding career on this field.
I am a mother of two, a registered Architect, and a LEED AP and until recently I was able to manage a full time carrier as an architect and a full time wife and mother. I was able to accomplished a lot thanks in parts of a supporting husband who also gives a lot for his carrier. It was understanding and fairness that had allowed me to achieve so much in just 7 years out of school. Yet even with all my accomplishments I just recently decided to move out from the firm I worked for those last seven years. Although many issues were involve in that decision one key issue was fair salary. After years of getting underpaid I just decided it was not worth all my energy, efforts, technical expertise and passion. I figure, I know I can do better someplace else. For years I thought I was vocal enough to request what I wanted and thought I was getting a fair deal. It was just when I realize interns at other firms were earning close to what I earned as I registered architect that I realize how bad it was. Perhaps it was my fault for not keeping up with what others were earning and accepting the overused excuse of a bad economy to justify low salaries. So when I decided to quit, then they decided they could dig in deeper in their pocket books and offer me a fair deal. Sadly for them, I had already made my mind. The sense of respect for my talents somehow was lost on the process.
I say to all of you that have struggle with too much work for too little, we must speak up and take action. I know that could be a bold statement in this hard economy but those at the top of the firm didn’t have their salaries cut or frozen because of bad economy. The funny part is that a few co-workers, men included, were so proud of my statement, because some of them too, feel underpaid. A lot of times is not just women that feel un appreciated, as I have find a few guys that feel the same. They too want to spend more time with their families, earn a decent living and feel respected. Perhaps women architects, as a community, could foster some talks of fair living wages among our field and that also takes into account a balanced family life.